Pinkflame1983

2011-12-15T12:57:00.000-05:00

"Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses."

~ Ann Landers

Luv This....Copied off a Tumblr

2011-10-27T17:28:00.001-04:00

#Inspired

2011-10-12T13:12:00.000-04:00

Behind the Scenes Footage - Tracee Ellis Ross for Essence Mag

2011-08-14T22:00:00.002-04:00

video platform video management video solutions video player

Tracee!

2011-08-14T21:38:00.006-04:00

I heart September.
I heart September issues.
I heart http://fashionbombdaily.com/ and
I heart Tracee Ellis Ross!

So I heart Essence's september issue, well I hope to luv it. The cover and the feature of my fav blogger has already given Essence an upgrade. I have to go pick up a copy, as a former subscriber I've been disappointed with the content in the past, so Cheers! to a new beginning! See the cover a snap of the spread featuring fashion's leading ladies.

Reppin the D and CTMBeeeee!

2011-08-03T21:52:00.000-04:00

Hot!

2011-06-27T17:22:00.001-04:00

Best Performance of the 21st Century!

2011-06-26T14:46:00.002-04:00

I heart Destiny's Child, they really were the last of a dying breed of entertainers. The showmanship and sexiness of this is still unmatched. Rihanna, Nicki, this is sexy, a little vulgar true, but stil hot!

OMG, I'm jacking this...

2011-06-23T16:16:00.003-04:00

I'm not an Adrienne Bailon fan, so why in the HECK am I going ga-ga over this look? Werk, honey! If I had some where to go, I'd mos def consider recreating this look. Heck if I CAN recreate this look, I'd go somewhere, I know I'd look too hot.

FIND YOUR TRUE COLORS....via Elle

2011-06-21T20:46:00.003-04:00

I was visiting The Seventh District and stumbled upon the quiz from Elle. Well, I saw the blogger took the quiz and I wanted to take the quiz too, for confirmation really I've been describing my stlye as modern classic for years. Take the quiz to reconfirm/confirm your style personality.

Motivation

2011-05-27T10:30:00.003-04:00

Ms. Kelly looks gaw-jus, bananas, she did it on 'em. I have a 10 year class reunion in August, she's my motivation, the dress, the make-up and the skin. BTW, Ms. Kelly has been on her grind too:

“Motivation” is the biggest hit single of ROWLAND’s solo catalog and her first No. 1 R&B/hip-hop hit outside of Destiny’s Child since “Dilemma,” her Grammy-winning 2002 duet with Nelly, which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 and R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart for 10 weeks and nine weeks, respectively. Directed by Sarah Chatfield, choreographed by Frank Gatson, and styled by Lysa Cooper, the seductive music video for “Motivation” has topped iTunes’ Top R&B/Soul Videos chart, ranked in the Top 10 of iTunes’ overall Top Music Videos Chart, and surpassed 14 million views on VEVO. “Motivation” is also No. 1 on the BDS and Mediabase Urban Published Charts, as well as the No. 1 Greatest Gainer on the Mediabase Urban Published Chart for its fourth consecutive week and the No. 2 Greatest Gainer on the BDS Urban Chart."

Go Kelly!

Photo and quote via TheYBF

Luv it...Go, Go, Go...

2011-05-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

2011-05-20T13:16:00.005-04:00

"So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man

tuh pick it up. He pick it up because he have to, but he don’t

tote it. He hand it to his womenfolks. De nigger woman is de

mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see. Ah been prayin’ fur it

tuh be different wid you."

- Zora Neale Hurston - Their Eyes Were Watching God

On Repeat....

2011-05-12T12:08:00.000-04:00

And the Winner is.....

2011-05-03T13:50:00.003-04:00

Ginnifer Goodwin, OMG, stunning. This photo is from last night's "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" 2011 Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. She gets my vote for best dressed. The Fashion Bomb Daily did a great run-down of the event and its where I got the photo.

Luvs It...

2011-04-28T16:58:00.000-04:00

via detroitbred

2011-04-15T12:27:00.002-04:00

"People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live it...

2011-04-15T12:06:00.001-04:00

from detroitbred

Finally, A Magazine Cover I Like!

2011-04-12T15:12:00.003-04:00

taken from TheFashionBombDaily

Feeling a Little Guilty

2011-03-15T11:57:00.002-04:00

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” is what my boss said when I let it slip that I watch “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”.” “I can’t believe you watch that,” said my Asian co-worker. Say what now?

Though I would not consider myself a fan of the “Real Housewives” franchise, the Atlanta cast is my favorite and honestly, it’s one of the very few shows I watch consistently. So why did I feel a twinge of shame at admitting my fondness for the show? Probably because it makes us look bad. I mean no one of the show is truly a ‘house wife” and they do perpetuate stereotypes of black women being vulgar and raunchy (ex. “I know a stripper who could give his own self head.”), gold diggers (ex. Sheree) catty and loud (ex. Nene), oh and let’s not forget Ms. Cynthia and her frontin and going broke for a wedding. Not to mention all of them had kids out of wedlock and only two earn a steady income. Well damn, is it that bad?

Yep, but they are so darn entertaining. Am I part of the problem? Am I a hypocrite of some sort because I would never conduct myself the way those women do or put myself in the situations they put on display for the world to see? Maybe?

Its get worse, I saw most of this season of “Basketball Wives.” Eeek, they are the worst. They really make the housewives look like Southern belles. So here’s my issue, as a black woman who is appalled by the negative images of black women in the media and our status within our own race, why in the HELL am I watching this coonery?

Give and Get is Here!

2011-03-08T09:45:00.000-05:00

Give and Get is Here!: "Enjoy 30% off from March 17-20 at Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy plus we'll make a 5% donation to a non-profit."

Renauld White via The Fashion Bomb Daily

2011-02-14T14:26:00.002-05:00

“They offered me a contract because they thought that I would fail. Eventually I proved myself.” White went on to not only cover GQ, but also score major campaigns with Black Tie cologne, Vitalis, and Arrows Shirts. He was the first black man to work the runways for Bill Blass, Calvin Klein, Donna Karan, and Ralph Lauren. He also enjoyed success in Europe, where he walked for Yves Saint Laurent, Jean Charles de Castelbajac, Cerutti, Valentino, Armani, and Versace.

Go to The Fashion Bomb Daily for the full piece.

Phenomenal Woman

2011-02-14T13:50:00.004-05:00

PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips. I
'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say, It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say, It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

This Day in Black History « Clutch Magazine

2011-02-14T13:48:00.001-05:00

This Day in Black History « Clutch Magazine

In honor of Black History Month, we seek to share with you some momentous occurrences for African-Americans in decades past and years remembered.

On this day, February 14th, in black history:

In 1817, Frederick Douglass was born. He was a well-known writer, statesman, and orator. After he escaped slavery, he became a leader of the abolitionist movement and was recognized widely for his anti-slavery writings. His first autobiography, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave was published in 1845 and described his life as a slave and his struggles to be free. He became a major speaker for the cause of abolition and was a strong believer in equality for all people.

In 1867, Morehouse College, a prestigious private all-male historically black college located in Atlanta, Georgia, was founded as Augusta Institute just two years after the Civil War. The school was founded by William Jefferson White, a Baptist minister from Atlanta with the original consensus to educate African-American men on points of theology and education. The school moved to Atlanta in 1879 and was called the Atlanta Baptist Seminary, due to its instrumental support and influence by its leaders and religious organizations in the state. In 1929, the college joined Spelman College and Clark College in a city consortium called the Atlanta University Center. Morehouse is currently one of two black colleges in the nation to produce Rhode Scholars and is the alma mater for recognized leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Spike Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, and Edwin Moses.

In 1946, Gregory Hines was born in New York City. Hines was a recognized actor, singer, and dancer. He became a leading star on Broadway and earned several Tony nominations for his appearances in Eubie! and Sophisticated Ladies. He co-hosted the ceremony in 1995 and 2002.

We Wear The Mask

2011-02-11T13:49:00.000-05:00

We Wear the Mask
By Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us,while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Still playing the Dozens, eh?

2011-02-10T15:12:00.005-05:00

Most of us know playing the dozens as an African-American custom in which two competitors -- usually males -- go head to head in a competition of comedic trash talk. It’s really just two people insulting each other sometimes in lieu of fighting. Let’s call it verbal sparring.

When I was a kid we called it “capping on.” (ex. “Dag, Ms. Cortada we jus capping on each other”). In some areas it’s called “cracking on,” “ranking on,” or whatever, but I do remember the scruffiest boy in the class had the best comebacks. Sometimes it was the kid who smelled like pee, but geez homeboy was funny, he’d cut you clean.

Anyway, the term “the dozens” is believed to refer to the devaluing on the auction block of slaves who were past their prime, deformed, aged or who after years of back-breaking toil, no longer were capable of hard labor. These slaves often were sold by the dozen. In the book African American Oral Traditions in Louisiana, African American author and professor Mona Lisa Saloy writes:

"The dozens has its origins in the slave trade of New Orleans where deformed slaves—generally slaves punished with dismemberment for disobedience—were grouped in lots of a 'cheap dozen' for sale to slave owners. For a Black to be sold as part of the 'dozens' was the lowest blow possible”

Some would even add that when violence among slaves was a property crime with potentially draconian consequences. Verbal sparring became a substitute for physical contention amongst slaves. Meaning when we couldn’t physically hit one another we delivered verbal blows. Deep, right?

Black people invented...Potato Chips!

2011-02-10T14:41:00.002-05:00

George Crum

George Crum, born George Speck in 1822 in Saratoga Lake, New York, was the son of a Native American mother and an African American father (i.e. black) and a trapper turned head chef. In the summer of 1853 George was the head chef at the elegant Cary Moon’s Lake House in Saratoga where French fries were a popular item on the dinner menu. Thomas Jefferson was responsible for bringing the concept for the French fry from France in the late 1700's. So, fried potatoes that were thickly sliced and were eaten with a fork were becoming a common staple in America by this time.

George was an ornery old fart, some would say, and the story goes…

One day an unsatisfied diner sent a plate of French fry’s back to the kitchen, claiming they were sliced too thick. The diner also requested that his fries be crunchy. In annoyance, George sliced the potatoes too thin and deep fried them so that they would be extra crunchy. To top it off he sprinkled salt on what is now called the potato chip. There was no way the diner could eat the chips with a fork, but he didn’t send them back. They were too good and thus the popular American snack was born.

George happily continued to make the thin, fried potatoes, but he called them "Saratoga Chips" or Potato Crunches. They soon became so popular that they were made up in large batches, packaged in bags, and sold in New England.

George never patented the chips, but he did open his own restaurant that eventually failed; however the potato chip industry now produces billions of dollars in sales each year.

So...It's Black History Month

2011-02-10T14:40:00.001-05:00

I loves me some black people, in fact being black is the best part of waking up. One would think I loved the month of February, black history month, but I don’t, not really. It’s too shallow too commercial. It’s great to hear about the “first African American to (insert whatever),” but to me it’s almost like saying the first black to join the human race. Not to discredit black firsts, I’m well aware of the trails, tribulations, -isms, and –ites, blacks must face, but I want to make sure that people know what we contribute to this great nation, what we contribute to the world, besides the coonery that is modern day “hip-hip.”

So I’m going to make an effort to learn a few new facts for myself and share a few tidbits on my blog.

I wanna be one of those black people who go off with, "Black people invented...." You know that person who gets worked up, "Black people invented skateboarding! Black people invented swimming! Black people invented surfing!"

Stay tuned.

8 Important Stats That Black America Needs to Pay Attention to - AND - We Can't Blame Obama For

2011-02-10T11:13:00.005-05:00

From The Atlanta Post (I added the Obama part)

1. “Although blacks make up only 13.6 percent of the U.S. population, they account for 50.3 percent of all diagnosed cases of HIV.”

2. “The wealth disparity between white and black households has more than quadrupled, regardless of income bracket.”

3. “72 percent of black mothers are unwed which eclipses that of most other groups: 17 percent of Asians, 29 percent of whites, 53 percent of Hispanics and 66 percent of Native Americans."

4. “Nearly half of the nation’s African American students attend high schools in low-income areas with dropout rates that hover in the 40-50% range.”

5. “Fewer than half of the black students who enroll in college graduate from four-year institutions within six years. Nationally, the average six-year graduation rate for all students is 57 percent.”

6. “The racial composition of the US prison and jail population as of 2008 was 60.21% (African American (non-Hispanic), 20.29% Hispanic, 13.44% White American (non-Hispanic) , and 6.06% Other (American Indian, Alaska Native, Asian American, Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander American, and Multiracial American). ****”Relative to black on black crime, the most recent government statistics indicated that “43% of all murder victims in 2007 were African American, 93.1% of whom were killed were African Americans.”****

7. “24.7% of all African-American live in poverty in comparison to 8.6% of all non-Hispanic White, 11.8% of all Asian-American and 23.2% of all Hispanic.”

8. Black women and men have much higher coronary heart disease (CHD) death rates in the 45–74 age group than women and men of other races. A higher percentage of black women (37.9%) than white women (19.4%) died before age 75 as a result of CHD, as did black men (61.5%) compared with white men (41.5%). And, a higher percentage of black women (39%) died of stroke before age 75 compared with white women (17.3%) as did black men (60.7%) compared to white men (31.1%). “

Ha Ha Ha...

2011-02-09T11:58:00.001-05:00

Source

Aww so Cute!

2011-02-09T11:13:00.002-05:00

via Natural Belle

Where yo mama at?

2011-01-14T11:50:00.003-05:00

This article on Clutch made me laugh. I so agree with everything, but #13. I HATE when people say “Shoot I need some charity myself,” or something equally insensitive or uncouth. You can just say, “not today” or “no thank.” Geez, the little baby battling a fatal disease didn’t do anything but be born and they should not be treated as a trifling matter by yo ass buying three ugly ass sweaters at 50% off. Putting yourself in the “I need” situation is distasteful because you don’t NEED three sweaters.

One more point, the cashier is just doing his or her job. This leads me to add my pet peeve the list.

I can’t stand when people go through the trouble to be rude and offensive. For example if you felt it was rude to ask you to donate, isn’t it even ruder to write a nasty letter to the store or take the energy to complain about it? You ain’t got nothing else to do? Recently I sent an e-blast for work about a Multicultural event to a list serve (i.e. a group of people interested or associated with our organization) and I received an e-mail from a white guy spewing off some dumb ass comments about his lack of diversity and receiving the e-mail. First you ignoramus multiculturalism is about embracing all cultures and if you don’t like it just delete the e-mail. K?

The comments are so true too like not greeting people or not saying thank you or acknowledging my “thank you.” I have to admit I used to be a little guilty of not saying hello sometimes cause I’d come in a be like “Good Morning” and everybody just look in your face without a smile or a nod, so I was like eff then. Now I’m going back to me and you’ll get a “What up doe.” Click the title for the piece.

This Commerical ALWAYS makes me smile.

2011-01-13T13:09:00.000-05:00

I die! Chanel Iman for Elle UK

2011-01-07T11:38:00.006-05:00

Sometimes fashion editorials can be a little, blah, but sometimes they can have you jumping out the window. This one has me inspired and so ready for the spring. The spread can also be used as cheat sheet if you want to learn the essence of each designer. Images are from Beauty is Diverse. Click the title for more photos.

IAMSUPERGORGE.com interviews Dawn

2011-01-04T13:25:00.002-05:00

ARe you KiDDing, Me?

2010-12-14T10:35:00.001-05:00

LearnVe$T...Your Finances...Uncomplicated

2010-12-09T10:22:00.003-05:00

A Facebook Friend and real-life buddy posted this link on her page and it is awesome. The web site is visually appealing and the content is great. I'm not a financial buff, but I know a thing or two and this site makes it easy to get a real snap shot of wear you are financially. BTW, I think I'll start the Boot camp program for January. :) Click the title to view the Web site.

So you wanna reply?

2010-12-08T17:39:00.005-05:00

I hate e-mails like really, I do, but can’t live without them so below I’ve composed a list of Do’s and Don’ts IF you want a reply from me.

1. Do include a salutation. Not greeting someone is just rude, now if this is second or third e-mail in one day no greeting is necessary, but whenever you make initial contact especially early in the morning, say hello.

2. Don’t e-mail me at 8:30 a.m. and expect a reply by 8:35 a.m. I don’t even get to work until 9:15 ish. Besides e-mail isn’t AIM, how pompous of you to believe I’m sitting at my desk waiting for instructions from you? Oh and if you call me and/or come to my office asking did I get your e-mail, it’s a wrap. You may as well be talking to a brick.

3. Do be concise. Tell me what you want from me in the first two sentences. You can leave more gibberish, eh detail in the rest of the e-mail. Long ass e-mails get placed in the follow-up folder.

4. Don’t copy my boss, your boss, the assistant and yo momma. I absolutely hate when someone “drops the ball” then in an effort to cover her ass sends an e-mail stating she’s been “trying to contact me” or “someone just gave her the project” yadda, yadda, yadda. You called 10 minutes ago and sent an e-mail 7 minutes ago, I’m on lunch break. FYI my first job was in banking so I live by CYOB (Cover Your Own Butt). I log when I called you, keep all e-mails and I always follow-up.

5. Don’t call me anything other than the name on my business card, Candace, not Candi, Candyhead or Kiddo.

6. Don't send one word e-mails. Just end with, Thanks. I can't stand an inbox full of "thanks'" and "OKs."

Thanks.

Hey, it's OK...

2010-12-06T15:37:00.006-05:00

…to wear the same black pants twice in a week. If your co-worker notices, she ain’t working.

…if you are not a fan of Precious (aka Gabourey Sidibe).

…to not like sports. That’s what his boys are for.

…to wear the same outfit two Mondays in a row. You still look hot, right?

… if you’re not in the Holiday Spirit.

…to stay in on a Friday night. Getting poked in the club is not as much fun as it sounds.

…if you don’t want to give to St. Judes, AmFar, The Salvation Army and the Boys and Girls Club.

…to count marinara sauce a vegetable.

As much as I luv blogs, I heart magazines even more. Glamour is one of my favorites and I look foward to their monthly piece, "Hey it's OK..." I decided to do my own version above.

It Just Keeps Getting Better

2010-12-06T12:09:00.004-05:00

I have a confession, I’ve had the same New Year’s Resolutions for over a decade. Only “make the Dean’s List” has turned into "get a new job” and those five pounds never went away. Last year I tried changing my way of thinking, instead of creating a list of items to get a check off my list, I thought 2010 is the year of more, more veggies, more exercising, more money. Well, it’s December again, New Year’s Resolution time and I am determined to have a better success rate in 2011.

Once again the paradigm has shifted. Though I still like the idea of thinking in terms of more, I’m going to try to get better in 2011. Instead of trying to obtain items I don’t have, I’ll just focus on building on the things I do have.

I’m already a great friend and a hard worker so instead of focusing on “networking” why not put more time into building the relationships I do have which may lead to referrals and leads anyway.

I already have a good job, now I’ll just focus on becoming better at it; a better reputation and skill set will lead to a better position.

Instead of trying to a find a new exhilarating hobby, my time off will be spent with that Canon Rebel currently collecting dust in my closet.

I have a good life, but it can always be better.

Just Black

2010-11-23T11:51:00.001-05:00

I read a post today on Coco and Crème that reminded me of a post I read on A Belle in Brooklyn a few weeks ago. Both posts address yet another disturbing beauty trend, not being exotic enough. I’m not going to get on my soap box and preach about the souls of black folk being killed slowly by self-hatred and assimilation, I just wanted share.

For the record, I’m just “regular black” and I’d have it no other way.

http://cocoandcreme.com/2010/11/not-exotic-enough-are-black-women-falling-out-of-the-spotlight/

http://www.abelleinbrooklyn.com/home/2010/9/1/visual-aesthetics.html

Beautiful. Gorgeous.

2010-11-18T13:38:00.002-05:00

He’s Only Interested In One Thing Because She’s Not That Interesting

2010-11-18T11:47:00.004-05:00

Jozen from UnitIGetMarried makes me laugh sometimes, but this morning I was cheering from the sidelines yelling “Tell’em why you mad, son! Get’em Get’em.” Click the title to read his original post, He’s Only Interested In One Thing Because She’s Not That Interesting. I took out my favorite quotes below and continued with my co-signing.

“Just like men have to face the fact that they’re not God’s gift just because they don’t put their hands on a woman, women have to understand, what else do they bring to the table? I hear women brag a lot about how they have their stuff together. What the hell does that have to do with what a man wants? Make a man laugh. Make a man think. Make a man speak.”

I’ve always preached about not letting superficial things define you, like a degree, a job, designer labels or in this case your cookie jar. So many people can’t answer the question, “So what do you like to do?” What the hell happened to hobbies? Hanging out with friends and partying is not a hobby. People who are funny are usually smart and perceptive, people who make people think have knowledge and life experiences (i.e. hobbies), people who make people speak usually have something to say.

“Every time a man doesn’t get the woman he wants he wonders, what was he missing. What could he have done to get the girl who turned him down? Then he applies it to the next woman. He’s himself all the while, but he definitely wants to know how he can improve.

Women, on the other hand….man, a lot of you all just think if a man didn’t want you, there was something wrong with him. He just didn’t see how interesting you are.”

Jozen if a man doesn’t want ME, something is wrong with HIM. For those who lack personality this one’s for you. I’m awesome! (kidding, but not really).

“It’s time for women to understand, s*x may be on top of a man’s list of priorities, but it for d*mn sure isn’t the whole list. We have a list of things we want in a woman too. Some of us want a woman who can cook. Some of us want a woman who knows how to look good. Some of us want a woman who hits the gym. But all of us want a woman who is interesting.”

I concur, but that goes for the bruvas too.

Tyler Perry, Doesn't Like Black Men Either?

2010-11-17T16:16:00.002-05:00

I haven’t seen Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls and I won’t die if never see it. The reviews have been mixed, but if you’ve seen one Tyler Perry movie you’ve seen ‘me all, right? They all concern a strong, but hurt black woman, abused and down trodden or uber-successful and cold. For Colored Girls adds a dose of male bashing too, so I’ve read. Bravo Tyler! N*ggas is crazy too.

I find that I encounter some “damaged goods” too; brothas who just play all kind of games. “I wait to see if she’s gonna offer to pay on a first date.” If you ask me out, I ain’t paying and I’m not going to pretend to pay either. If the date has two parts I’ll offer on the second like pay for the popcorn or whatever. “I didn’t leave you a message just to see if you were gonna call me back anyway.” If you didn’t leave a message so you obliviously did want anything, right? “You didn’t make me dinner. You just selfish.” Do we have the same last name? If not, I feel obligated to cook for you. “I only mentioned her name to see if you cared about me.” Games all games. Insecure, much?

I think bruva’s (DMV accent) are confused and taken aback when they meet a real grown ass woman without any psychological problems. Gender roles are seriously muddled in the black community and I think it has to do with so many fatherless people who even lack strong male role models. Some of these sistas are straight trippin too sellin coochie to the highest bidder. They just lack self-esteem. We are a people who have lost a sense of pride, self-worth and dignity. We don’t love ourselves so how can WE love EACH OTHER? How did we get to the point where ladies can’t be ladies and gentlemen can’t be gentlemen?

Tyler Perry did a good thing if you exposed the some of the diseases that ail the male black population. I believe they were cheaters, rapists, abusers etc, but in my opinion those are sick, hurt people too. WE all just need ONE big HUG.

10 Things Every Woman Should Own

2010-11-15T14:30:00.006-05:00

Star stylist Nicole Chavez listed 10 Things Every Woman Must Own for Instyle magazine a while ago. Click the title to take you to the link. Her picks are listed below as well as my humble opinion.

1. Black blazer or a nice sturdy black cardigan. Cardigans adds a sophistocated vibe, real Michelle O.

2. Red Flats or your signature color. I like red, but I love purple.

3. Striped Shirt or a button down white one or a black cotton turtle neck it depends on your overall "look." Striped says sport classic, but black say chic.

4. Little Black Dress (LBD) AGREED!

5. Opaque tights I live in these during the winter. Plus I don't have to shave my legs. Bonus!

6. Oversize watch I'm feeling the rose gold look.

7. Classic Trench I've got three of 'em.

8. Flared jeans or whatever looks best on you. I live in skinnies, but bootcuts are more classic.

9. Leopard print scarf Animal prints never go out of style. Ever.

10. Statement necklace or earrings or bracelet. I'm an earring person the bigger the better.

My picks are below.

More Ann Taylor...

DangerousNegro.com = Dope Site

2010-11-12T12:51:00.005-05:00

I learned of this site a while ago, but I decided to revisit it today and WOW. In fashion speak, "I die." I luv the message and the designs. The purple "Goal Digger" t-shirt is perfect for me, but sold-out.

The following have been added to my Christmas Wishlist.

and because I still rocks with Barack...

Rudeness is for Losers

2010-11-12T11:28:00.008-05:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that some people just like to fight and argue. It’s their hobby, their story for the day, it’s just who they are. Some people like to be insanely rude for no reason. I find this quite sad. I hear people recant stories with pride about how they had to “go off” on lady who cut in front of them and how they, the baddest b*tch, will tell it like it is and put anyone in his place. But what do they really get out of it? Are these people really “winners” in life? No.

Recently, a homely co-worker sent me an e-mail in regard to a project. Later at the printer she asked me about it. “Did you get my e-mail?” I hate e-mails, but that’s another post. The e-mail was about a project that I wasn’t project manager on, but I knew where to get the information she needed.

“So and so is the project manager, but the information should be on Web site.”

“It’s not on the Web site. Somebody told me you did the project.”

Now she needed the sponsorship information for an awards ceremony I helped with in September. I’m not responsible for the details I just helped with set-up and registration, but I did know that every event program book lists the sponsors, duh. The information was and still is on the Web site too.

I said, “That’s so and so, but,” and she turned on her heels and walked away without a word. I was going to go and get a copy of the program book, but did I? Hells no and now she doesn’t have an ally in me at work. And she didn’t get what she needed. Now I could have just gotten the program book, but as a new employee I thought it was important for her to know who the project manager was in case she had additional questions.

Wednesday, I went to exchange a net book purchased online at the Best Buy. “It’s a 15% restocking fee,” said the customer service rep at the store, smugly. I called customer service that morning and they informed me of the procedure, but didn’t mention a restocking fee. I could have turned into Tasha Mack. Instead calmly, I told her what the customer service rep told me. She went on with all these questions, she was training a new employee I guess, but her attitude expressed that she wanted a “story” from me. Long story short, customer service at Best Buy sucks, but I left with my full purchase price and Ms. Thang didn’t get her rise. I think my calm demeanor surprised her and she had to waive the fee.

Lesson, get what you want/need first then go ape sh*t.

Oh Please, Oh Pretty Please! (My Christmas Wishlist)

2010-11-04T11:13:00.001-04:00

More Tory Burch...

Too Cute!

2010-11-03T14:35:00.001-04:00

These little kids got so much swag. Little stars in the making.

Damn!

2010-11-03T14:34:00.000-04:00

Real Talk

2010-11-03T14:30:00.002-04:00

‎"Happiness is the result of being too busy to be miserable." ~ Rev Run

I Wanna Wear a Freakin' Turban

2010-10-27T15:41:00.001-04:00

I got this from the Fashion Bomb.

Luv'em or Hate'em They Making $$$

2010-10-27T14:45:00.005-04:00

I'm not a fan of the Kardashians, but I must admit Kim has her " Imma Bad B*tch" moments like the one below. Both Kim and Kourtney look fierce.

I like her style, but it does get a little boring and predictable. So how in the hell do they come out with a second clothing line; this time for QVC? I was over at the Budget Babe and came across these photos http://www.thebudgetbabe.com/archives/3175-K-DASH-by-Kardashian-for-QVC.html#extended. No shade, I would so buy the dresses, but according to QVC only big girl sizes are available.

DaWN CaM

2010-10-26T13:18:00.001-04:00

DAwn cam from Dawn Richard Blog on Vimeo.

Top 30 Before 30

2010-10-26T11:26:00.003-04:00

I read a magazine article once about Mandy Moore and she talked about her “to do” list before she reached a certain age. From it I got the idea to do a “Top 25 Before 25” to do list and now since I’m past the age of 25 I’m working on my “Top 30 Before 30” list. It’s a silly list really, it includes dumb sh*t, like learning to fry chicken and real sh*t like getting a promotion. I have leftovers from my Top 25 list, I’ve never danced on a bar before and I haven’t had the chance to ride a mechanical bull, but I can now rock a miniskirt and I finally got that picture with Mickey.

It’s just a fun list to do and it helps with setting long term goals and creates life experiences. One of my Top 25 items was to study abroad and I got the chance to study at Cambridge in the UK. I wanted a promotion and got a raise and a good reputation. I also wanted to wear a miniskirt and now I can’t get out of them. My Top 30 Before 30 list includes:

1. Get some real furniture (i.e. some ish I can sell if timed get hard)
2. Become an expert in my field (i.e. finish the CSEP certification process or at
least the certificate program)
3. I still don’t know how to fry chicken
4. Learn to network without a serious pep talk before hand
5. Create a signature dish
6. Purchase a designer bag, the fancy stuff (Gucci, Marc Jacobs, etc) I need to
save for it for no credit cards
7. Sunbathe in Madrid
8. Kiss a dolphin
9. I need to learn to swim
10. Wear a tuxedo

I don't include stuff like get married or have some babies because it's all about the timing and they require things out of my control. It's a set-up for faiure if it doesn't happen. I've learned to set real goals, not like the one I set in eight grade, "To be taller." I haven't made it to 5"2.

This it too cute...I LOVE MY HAIR!

2010-10-14T20:58:00.002-04:00

My Prez and his Lady, AwWw

2010-10-13T11:44:00.002-04:00

Loving You No More vs. Loving You No More

2010-09-25T21:19:00.001-04:00

Trey is for Kids....

2010-09-20T13:49:00.003-04:00

So I'm a Trey Songz fan, luved "Gotta Go," bumped "Missin You", "Black Roses" is my jam and dude is killin me wit "Can't be Friends." I don't care for the video, it seems he's now a member of the "NO BLACK GIRLS ALLOWED CLUB." See below.

I really like the fact that dude is putting in work and you can see he wants to be a great entertainer, but he lacks personality and it seems his music is a mix of grown folk R&B and that sticky, sticky, licky, licky music for the kids. I prefer the former. That whole sellin sex, get money music is nothing but a paper chase. In my opinion he needs to pick an audience and stick with it; he could make music for now and eventually become played out when the trend fades.

I went to a see Trey and Monica in DC and the divide in audiences was glaring. First off, the concert started on time. It was scheduled for 8:00 pm, I got there at 8:30 pm and Monica was half through her set! WTH was Monica doing opening for Trey anyway? When she sang "First Night" half the crowd sat in a blank stare while the half bobbed and sang along. Remember when Monica and Brandy ruled the charts?

Treyz's set was all sex NOT makin luv. He brought a girl onstage and gave her a massage which reminded me of when I went to Immature concerts as a kid and they sang "Please Don't Go" or "Never Lie." All the kiddie's were screaming as Mr. Songz humped the air and stuck out his tongue. I realized I'm too old for all this screaming and hollering. He sang maybe one ballad, but the rest were "Say Ahhs," you know all the music the younger set would enjoy.

Still luv, Trey though. I'm hoping to get ticket for Usher's OMG tour. Trey will open, but I hope he ups his set though, that whole R. Kelly/Bobby Brown set was for the kids.

She Killin It

2010-08-25T16:10:00.001-04:00

The Black Girl Project

2010-08-19T15:16:00.001-04:00

The Black Girl Project {teaser 2: electric boogaloo} from Aiesha Turman on Vimeo.

I can only imagine the vacations Palin would take.

2010-08-11T14:33:00.002-04:00

I’m a little late on getting my thoughts out about First Lady Obama’s trip to Spain with cutie-patootie Sasha, but here goes. I really didn’t think it was a big deal until articles like this one New York Daily News started popping up. Folks (i.e. Republican’ts, white people, and dumb black folks) are upset over Lady O’s vacation. Some are not upset over the vacation, just the lavishness of it; some are just upset over the vacation. What did I think when I saw the photos? OMG! She looks fabulous! Ha Ha Ha.

I don’t care if she takes a billion vacations on the tax payers dime or not (some reports say that she spent her own money and that the taxpayers covered secret service and all that jazz). Well I do care a little, but I have a very high tolerance rate for her so she’d have to take almost a billion vacations to upset me, but anyhoo. It’s a recession right? Everyone should be sad and struggling. No one should be living the “good life” right now. Eh, Candace ain’t in a recession, in fact Candace got a raise, a promotion and a better place this year. God is good. The Obama’s aren’t in a recession either and I don’t think they would be if they weren’t in the White House. True.

I’m glad to see them “eating good.” Americans are a selfish self-righteous people. People have been buying jets, $70 hotdogs, Christian Loubitins, and multiple million dollar homes for years while entire cities and communities experienced extreme poverty and unemployment (Appalachian mountain communities, Detroit, Flint, Toledo, etc.). We (Americans) were cool with paying celebrities millions upon millions to tell us how much money they make and how they are gonna “blow” it. We allowed the rich to receive tax cuts for years and we allowed our city leaders to neglect our roads, schools, and well being. So why be made now? I highly doubt anyone personally felt the pinch in his pocket over the Obama vacations.

Let’s be real right now; most people if they had the money and wanted to, would take a 5-star vacation and not give a damn if John Doe somewhere in Indiana lost his job at the plant. So if you could, you would, but can’t and mad cause someone else DID. Isn’t that called, HATING? America is full of Haters? Ya’ll hating on the First Lady? (Did that come out right?)
Besides, how would the image of a homely, down trodden, sour faced First Family help the American economy? What image would that project?

Jesse? Quit playing on my F****** phone!

2010-08-10T19:48:00.003-04:00

Will Smith said...

2010-08-10T10:31:00.004-04:00

Don't try and build the great wall of China overnight.

Just learn to lay ONE perfect brick at a time"

~ Will Smith

We Should Take Care of Each Other

2010-08-04T11:54:00.002-04:00

A couple of weeks back an ex co-coworker called to ask me if she could interview me for her Organizational Behavior class. Say what, now? “You think I have a behavioral problem?” That wasn’t the case. We discussed the importance and influence of corporate culture and the effect on employee performance and job satisfaction. It was a good conversation, but what really stuck was when she said, “I felt like I failed you. As black women, I feel we should take care of each other.” A couple weeks later I’m repeating the same words to a young woman who worked at my organization.

I didn’t repeat those exact words, but it’s how I felt. She had been interning at the company for nearly a year and she had taken a sheep like following to a coworker who was bad news, a show pony, and I knew she would end up “burned.” The relationship wasn’t mutually beneficial she thought she would get mentorship, work experience and a stellar recommendation from this person who only had personal gain in mind. “She’s a big girl,” I thought “she’ll find out sooner or later or maybe not.” On her last day she opened up about the relationship and how badly it made her feel and I realized that I fudged up.

Granted the situation was new to me; do I bad mouth my coworker to an intern? I don’t know this girl. How can I call her a follower? Am I really qualified to give someone career advice? Besides she didn’t ask me Sugar Honey Iced Tea. Besides, this girl’s “Sheppard” was a sista too.
So did I have a responsibility to this young sista, to teach her the game or at least make an effort? In my opinion, yes. It’s hard for people of color in the workplace, especially women of color and I know what it feels like to feel “lost” at work especially fresh out of school. I did appreciate the occasional ‘words of wisdom’ from a seasoned coworker and I did feel the need for mentorship. Besides “other people” do it all the time that’s why “they” are making gains in the workplace and in economic status even social status and “we” still fighting each other.

Black women, black people, have lost the sense of “we” and “us.” That may be a reason we are so “angry” some of us are more “angry” than others, but we are angry; we most definitely have the right to be though. But, we also feel alone sometimes which makes us feel more defensive and aggressive. If we knew we had an army of “Bad Misses” behind us to support us and not take we would get a lot more accomplished and be a lot happier.

That day, she broke down and we had a heart to heart. I gave her the business and she ended up saying, “I wished I would have worked with you more.” “Most people don’t realize how lucky they are to be around me,” I said. “True.” Next time I’ll let them know.

DawnRichardBlog.com

2010-07-23T20:27:00.001-04:00

DawnRichardBlog from Dawn Richard Blog on Vimeo.

That's So Hot

2010-07-20T16:17:00.006-04:00

I started my blog stroll a little late today (work got it the way), but I was still delighted to see a new designer featured on my fav fashion blog, http://www.fashionbombdaily.com/. Herds of the Fathers is a hot leather goods line geared toward the urban gentleman, but I think it's pretty hot for my lifestyle. See pics from their Web site below. The title of this post will take you there, if you click on it.

Note to Nice Guys

2010-07-15T11:26:00.004-04:00

It’s hard being a “nice” person period. People will try you every day. But being “nice” isn’t your problem in regard to women. You need to be more assertive. Point. Blank. Period. Assertive in a way that is straightforward and masculine (i.e. confident), you can’t be afraid of rejection.

I know guys who are loud and obnoxious, but who are afraid of rejection and come off as insecure and weak almost. This guy is often a he-man woman hater; he really wants somebody, but he is afraid of getting his heart broken so he uses personality as a repellent. This dude is really a nice guy at heart and usually the most romantic. His opposite in personality is the nice, nice guy; the shy one, who often gets walked all over (not on purpose always). Women like a guy who is handy around the house and in the yard and this guy is good company, but we’re unsure of his intentions. He’d make a great boyfriend, but does he like ME or is he just being nice? Ladies like to feel safe and the relationship with this guy is ambiguous and no one feels safe in ambiguity. So you’ll be the back-up.

Where am I going with this? Tell me what you want from me! Tell me literally or with your actions sometimes both are necessary. Chase me. Be a man about it. Don’t ask for my number and wait for me to call you. Don’t ask me for my number and start meaningless text conversation (i.e. Hey, What a r doing?) Pick up the phone and make it plain. Don’t ask me out and wait for me to make the plans and please don’t keep score. I called you, now call me, I asked, you plan, I, you, I, you. This ain’t a game.

When I meet a guy like this I think, “This nuggets ain’t serious, games all games” so my guard is up and my effort is minimal (If you just chillin, cool). In essence I’m taking your lead. It’s your move. Be aggressive. You may get rejected, but you have to first take the chance. We’re all “nice” girls looking for a “nice” guy.

Ya Killin Me

2010-07-14T15:22:00.002-04:00

I discovered http://blackfashion.tumblr.com/ a minute ago (from a blog stroll perhaps) and I luv it. This pic of Alek Wek is killin me. She killed it, Haute and Hawt. Click the title for some bruthas and sistas with crazy swag.

Real Talk

2010-07-06T12:20:00.001-04:00

"They say it is a sad thing to not have friends.

But it is sadder still to not have enemies.

Because he who has no enemies,

It is a sign that he has,

Neither talent that overshadows,

Nor blessings that others may covet,

Nor character that impresses,

Nor valor that is feared,

Nor honor that can be murmured about,

Nor any good thing that could be envied.”

José Martí (1853-1895)

You, a B*tch?

2010-07-06T11:59:00.004-04:00

Truth be told I have my issues with the B –word, but I have to be honest it doesn’t bother me or should I say cause an explosion in me like the N-word. The B-word essentially has two main meanings bad and bad, but not necessarily bad. Understand? Nope. When I use it, I usually mean this person is a scum bag, low down dirty, classless mofo (male or female) or this is a person that can get the job done her way and not tip-toe or apologize for being confident and honest about the way she wants it done. The latter definition comes from the media vilifying a strong woman who may or may not be a little catty. Both definitions are derogatory but it is what it is.

Some women aspire to be a bitch, the baddest b*tch even, which takes on a different meaning, but some aspire to be Omarosa or Anna Wintour which is fine IF you have what it takes and you are willing to take the consequences. Omarosa and Anna are very successful and fun to watch so I admit I understand the allure of being a known B-Word; it’s a persona that gets you attention and sometimes accolades. Omarosa and Anna have reps for being nasty, but I’m sure you can be called a B for just being unapologetic for doing things your way and demanding the best from the people around you. Oprah and Michelle O were probably labeled B’s at some point or ABW’s, you know that’s synonymous for a B.

Being called a B isn’t necessarily a bad thing. How does the saying go, “Woe is he who has no friends, but even worse is he who has no enemies”? I butchered that, I know, but you get the point. It does matter the context in which you were called one though.
So can you be a good b*tch or a bad b*tch (not bad like “oh she bad,” but like bad as is poor quality)? Yes. Mos def. In order to be a good B you have to know the basics starting with number one;

1. “To thy own self be true.” You can’t fake the funk with this persona you have to go balls out cause the attacks will come from everyone, everywhere and if you aren’t prepared you will be eaten alive.

2. Know your stuff. Be good at what you do. If you wanna be a stylist, know your designers, fabrics, seasons, etc. If you are in politics know your opponent, the issues, the facts and the numbers. A b*tch needs to be able to lay down a verbal smack down. You don’t wanna be embarrassed by some novice or someone trying to take your spot.

3. C.Y.O.B (Cover Your Own Butt). Anyone in the work world should do this, but it is especially important to aspiring divas (a nicer tone for the b-word) because sabotage and lies will be common occurrences. Always leave a paper trail e-mails, confirmations numbers, receipts and always follow-up. Let them KNOW you mean BUSINESS. People don’t always treat your projects the way you do so you have to make sure they hold up their end of the bargain. Besides written evidence adds to your upper hand when conflicts arise it won’t be he say she say. It also isn’t a bad idea to log your calls too. Never ever lie, it makes you look straight STOOPID and a b*tch should never were the poo poo face.

4. Treat everyone the same. Be consistent. You can’t try to treat some people like poo and then turn around a smile in some else’s face. Someone is always watching you. (Remember Making the Band 2? Sing. “You are being watched, you are being watched.”) A fake b*tch is automatically a bad one. Plus, you never know what a person can do for you? Sucks to put it that way, but hey.

5. Have a code. Have some integrity. No one wants to be associated with a liar, a cheat or a thief, no one. Plus, you can’t possibly be a happy liar.
If you have the basics covered and you are starting to get some shine (i.e. your boss/client/captain publicly gives you kudos, you won, you get the feature, you meet your own goals, etc.) Then you can consider yourself a BAD B*TCH in a good way. A winning personality is secondary though it wouldn’t hurt.

Needless to say, I can get along with anyone including a b*tch. Hell I might even be one. (According to a few losers, I am, but everyone should have haters, right?) What I can’t stand is a bad b*tch (i.e. a loser, second rate diva, a slug arse mofo). You know the kind too busy trying to make you look bad to do any self improvement, the one with the nasty comments and catty remarks for no good reason, she is one of those “you must decrease so I can increase” cats, the kind who believes there is not enough success or happiness to go around, the kind who will cheat, lie and sabotage. She wants to be the best but lacks skill so her only option to get rid of you. YOU make HER look bad. She is no good and adds no value; at work she may be a “show pony.” She may have the ego, but nothing to back it up; she lacks the basics. No weapon, but a loud and/or foul mouth sometimes she just looks good. Pointed questions are her weakness “Did you get confirmation? When? Show me the receipts!”

Though the word b*tch has no color once you add one it adds a special connotation. That said I can’t stand a low level b*tch period (sometimes they’re called basic though the lack the “basics”), and I will cop to saying “There is nothing worse than a black bitch!” Yes I said it. I absolutely loathe a black bitch. Because they hurt you (well me as a black woman) the most. If there is anyone on this planet who can understand my plight; it should be you, sista. And you stab me (in front of these white people!)?!?! You cut me, you cut me deep.

So let me finish this by saying, I would never refer to you, myself or anyone I loved as a bitch (under normal circumstances). However, I do understand that it is a word good or bad that I’ll have to deal with at some point. Because though we can try to avoid negativity and negative people, it’s a part of life. I’m sure I’ll be a “bitch” to somebody, someday. When that day comes “You must admit. I got every reason to feel like I'm "THAT BITCH". Ego so strong, if you ain't know. I don't need no beat, I can sing it with piano.” ~ Beyonce

On Repeat

2010-07-01T23:37:00.001-04:00

Luv'in this song.

HelloGoodMornin

2010-05-27T13:47:00.008-04:00

So Diddy is moving really trying to move forward with this Dirty Money thing, ahem, Diddy-Dirty Money thing. The group has a new Web site (click the title to visit the site) and four new videos, and new promo shots all set up to promote their upcoming album debut, The Last Train to Paris. I am planning to get the album despite (or inspite, I honestly don't know when to use either word) of my complaints against the group.

1. Why is the group called Diddy-Dirty Money, not just Dirty Money? I think Puff is just using Dawn and Kaleena to build credibility in the music arena, then it's over. They just backup singers anyway.

2. If they are a group, why do they need all these cameos and features? I like the original versiion of HelloGoodMornin, performed on American Idol then they went and T.I. and Rick Ross. Too many people on that one.

4. Why can't Dawn and Kaleena be seen with the featured artists? Can they get some shine, they always together, in the backround and out of the shot.

5. Why are the girls always dressed alike. Not the same outfit literally, but the same style. Can't they add some personality to their fits?

I'm hoping the album isn't full of add on rappers, please be some slow jams. Anyhoo, some photos from the "groups" recent promo shot are below. I took them off the Web site.

Still Smiling :)

2010-05-21T14:43:00.001-04:00

My Smile Moment Today....

2010-05-20T15:24:00.001-04:00

Summa, Summatime

2010-05-19T12:15:00.003-04:00

I think I‘m getting the blues again (I know it happens a lot). Maybe I’m just tired this time though, I just finished a stressful event and my part-time gig is becoming a little stressful too; it’s just not fun anymore. I’ve been working every day of the week for full days of work! Geez, what the hell am I on? I’m starting to feel like a crack head cause I don’t have anything to show for my hard work, too many trips to Target perhaps.

Anyhoo, I’m making a list of things that I’m looking forward to this summer in hopes to cheer myself up.

1. I’m going to the Erykah Badu concert this month. I thought Janelle Monae was coming too, but it looks like N.E.R.D will be stepping in instead. No worries, I’m craving some good music right now. It would be great if the Roots made an appearance wouldn’t it?

2. Movies! Movies! Movies! Shrek: Forever After, Toy Story 3, The Losers, Takers and Grown –Ups (I know I’m a big arse kid).

3. After a big conference in Orlando for work, I’m going to stay a couple extra days to go to Disney World. Yay! I’ve never been to Disney World so I’m geeked. Plus the hotel has a pool that I can chilax by and work on my tan. (Maybe that’s why I haven’t quit my part time gig? I would be broke, like Kappa broke.)

4. The Smithsonian offers a photography class in July for a price that fits my budget. I just have to make sure I can use my current camera. Click!

5. My new apartment is mos def an upgrade from my old digs and it’s time to invest in decorating my room. I’m thinking deep purples and lots of embellishments and real furniture! The only thing of value is my bed cause I refuse sacrifice a good night’s sleep. In my defense, there is nothing wrong with IKEA when you are just starting out.

6. At work, after conference we usually get every other Friday off during the summer and I’m going to cut my hours on the part time job too so I’m taking back my weekends (well at least a few). Sunday morning trips to the Smithsonian and lounging at Barnes & Noble’s here I come, after church of course. Heck I may even venture to Farmer’s Markets and street festivals. This calls for new sandals, right?

7. I am sick of being an armchair revolutionary, so this summer I promise myself to go do some good for someone else and not just padding the collection plate either. I’m gonna get my volunteerism/ activism on.

8. My mom’s coming to visit!

9. Summer music and concerts! Last Train to Paris (June 28) and Bionic (June 4)

10. “Skin so brown, lips so round, Baby how can I be down? Beautiful mahogany, you make me feel like a queen Tell me what's that thing you do that makes me wanna get next to you, yeah”
Yessss! Honey, skin, skin and more skin and I’ve been doin squats too short shorts here I come!

Who You Callin' a ......

2010-05-18T11:54:00.003-04:00

So over the weekend a coworker who shall remain nameless called me an Angry Black Woman, say what now? “I’m not angry person, am I?” I asked another coworker and a chorus of “yes’” ensued. “At first I thought you were playing, but now I see that’s just the way you are.” What? The offender named an ex-coworker who I got along with, with no problems as an Angry Black Woman too. Maybe he means confident, I thought. Cause I saw no evidence of this ex-coworker being hostile, aggressive or attitudinal and neither am I. What we have in common is a high self esteem and a strong value system.

I’m a pretty cool person, a low maintenance loyal friend, a hard worker I like cooking and shopping. I luv planning trips and African-American history. I’m blessed beyond my belief and a firm believer in the Word of God (b.k.a the bible); I just have low tolerance for laziness, stupidity, mediocrity and cooning. I also think it is in poor taste to talk about sex openly in the employee break room, excuses are really tools of incompetence and I absolutely can’t stand quitters or victims. So if you talking that ish, I’m out. Does that make me angry? I have the choice to surround myself in that foolishness or move on. Most times I say “Peace Out!”

Then I thought, maybe it’s my tongue. I’ve been told it’s sometimes sarcastic, cunning, and at times funny. I am a little sarcastic and I joke all the time, but that’s just me. I feel awkward if I’m trying to be bubbly and sweet. Sometimes I wonder if I were another color would it be different. I’ve heard some women say things that were downright offensive, rude and sarcastic and be called funny or just sarcastic, but I say something I gotta be mad or angry or bitter? If I were a guy, I’d be a leader right?

I can be mean when pushed and pushed. Everyone who knows me truly knows that I don’t like confrontation and that I’m actually quite reserved. So if I’m pissed enough to confront you, I AM PISSED so if you get IT, then you had IT coming. So what? I can’t stand up for myself?

Finally, I have a penchant for telling the truth (I told a lie once junior year and it ate me up so bad, I came clean and vowed to never ever lie again, ever). So if you ask me a question I’m gonna tell the truth with tact and class of course. So you complaining about your boss fussing you out for being chronically late, but you admit you always get up at the same time and the bus is always late. I’m gonna tell you to get yo arse up earlier and take an earlier bus so if the bus is late you won’t be, duh. Your boss has the right to be upset, YOU messin up. Does that make me angry or honest?

I am not an arguer. Don’t Angry Black Women like to argue and do their signature neck roll all the time? Well, I must admit I have done a neck roll once before and it felt good, ain’t nothing wrong with it, but for arguments sake, don’t angry black women look for arguments and opportunities to “tell somebody off.”? I’ll say my peace and flash the “deuces” arguing takes too much time and energy and how does the saying go, “When you see two people arguing from a distance it’s hard to tell who is the fool and who isn’t. “ The stereo typical ABW loves a good fight, right?

It’s bad enough when other people call you an angry black woman, but when my people do it; it does upset me a little. Dudes are offended cause you ask a question, don’t accept their tired excuses, or don’t run and jump at their command. I’m supposed to be grateful an employed brother is talking to me right? What I don’t get is black women unjustly labeling another black woman an ABW. Maybe they don’t want to interrupt the status quo, whatever.

Stereotypes suck, but they aren’t just made up. Some people fit the bill, I ain’t lying. Some people fit the bill sometimes. Some people fit the bill all the time, but stereotypes do harm to reputation, self esteem and ego. Fact. Maybe it’s time for me to do some tweaking in my presentation to the world. If more than one person says something it may have some truth, especially if these people don’t know each other, right? Maybe it’s not the same wording, maybe it’s a common theme.

Do different people from different areas of your life agree on something about you? Do you have reason to believe these people are out to cause you harm? If the first answer is yes and the second is no, then maybe you need to make some changes. Hmm, I’m gonna let that marinate.

But, FYI just because I don’t try to be a “down ass chick,” a sugary sweet cupcake or a free spirited social butterfly it’s doesn’t make me angry. Just because I don’t let you walk all over me, it doesn’t mean I’m an ABW. Just because I don’t’ settle for some second rate dude, it doesn’t make me an ABW. Just because I want the best, it doesn’t mean I’m an ABW.

Well I guess it boils down to, “Perception is reality,” which is true. If you wanna see me as an angry black woman, then that’s all you will see; but you’ll be missing out.

10 Things Every Woman Should Own

2010-05-17T12:57:00.004-04:00

Star stylist Nicole Chavez listed 10 Things Every Woman Must Own for Instyle magazine a while ago. Click the title to take you to the link. Her picks are listed below as well as my humble opinion.

1. Black blazer or a nice sturdy black cardigan. Cardigans adds a sophistocated vibe, real Michelle O.

2. Red Flats or your signature color. I like red, but I love purple.

3. Striped Shirt or a button down white one or a black cotton turtle neck it depends on your overall "look." Striped says sport classic, but black say chic.

4. Little Black Dress (LBD) AGREED!

5. Opaque tights I live in these during the winter. Plus I don't have to shave my legs. Bonus!

6. Oversize watch I'm feeling the rose gold look.

7. Classic Trench I've got three of 'em.

8. Flared jeans or whatever looks best on you. I live in skinnies, but bootcuts are more classic.

9. Leopard print scarf Animal prints never go out of style. Ever.

10. Statement necklace or earrings or bracelet. I'm an earring person the bigger the better.

My picks are below.

More Ann Taylor...

Way to Go, Katie!

2010-05-13T12:17:00.005-04:00

Over at Bossip, I read a post that made me smile. Notre Dame has named it's first African American valedictorian and she's a sista AND a woman in the sciences. Go Girl! I heart to see women of color doing well, especially sistas. Click the title for the Bossip post. I visited the Notre Dame Web site to confirm the details and they pretty much match-up :).

The Color of Beauty

2010-05-12T12:57:00.004-04:00

While over at www.thefashionbombdaily.com I came across the video below. It's in french, but the subtitles are in English. I thought they knew "black is the new black."

Candid Camera: Shopping While Black - Essence.com

2010-05-10T16:28:00.001-04:00

So while over at http://www.essence.com/ I came across a piece on “shopping while black.” Basically cameras recorded black actors posed as shoppers being treated unfairly. Real-life clerks said things like “You people shoplift” and followed the actors and the people nearby where unfazed by the blatant discrimination. They just continued on with their purchases without a peep. What if it were you being degraded or what if you overheard the offense? What would you do?

I shop a lot and know the difference between good customer service and surveillance. I have to admit though I am not always as vigilant about recognizing discrimination and acting on it. Sometimes if I’m shopping I’m in my own little world or on a mission to find a hot new addition for my closet and I am not always aware of what’s going on around me which I know I have to work on. But when I do notice someone is watching me depending on my mood I just walk out, put whatever I have in my hands down where I stood and leave. Sometimes if I really want the item and I’ve checked other places I’ll buy it, tell the salesperson how I feel, throw in a degrading jab or two without raising my voice and then ask for the manager. I used to just leave, but I sometimes think “This ain’t her store. She can’t make me leave.”

Crazy thing is I experience this behavior (i.e. following, watching, too much attention or no attention) from black folks too. Sometimes they are the worst. I’ll never forget when I first moved to the DMV area and I got my first paycheck and ventured to Fashion Center Mall at Pentagon City. I went to Sephora and no one said “Boo,” but when I white woman walked in she received greetings and offers of assistance. I was followed in Banana Republic and J.Crew. These were my favorite places to shop online. (In Detroit we didn’t have too many retails store you’d have to drive way out to go shopping.) The only store that I felt fine in was United Colors of Benetton of all places. The Ethiopian girl didn’t want to help me, but the white guy picked out a fab outfit for me and referred a tailor for the pants. That day I felt befuddled, taken aback and a little disheartened. You expect this from white people, but to be profiled by your own people? I had never been treated this way and this gave birth to my hardened DMV exterior.

I’ve never heard a racial slur or the term “you people”, but I’m guessing if I did I’d hit the roof. Subtle racism is the norm sadly, but blatant racism requires action immediately and the offender must be punished. Judging from prior experience I’d calmly call the sales person every name, but a child of God, reminded her that “we run this….country (Obama), game (Venus), company (Ursula), industry (Beyonce)… and the new Negro is here to get in her face, call her boss and gasp, write a letter!

Maybe I’m not reacting enough, but at least I do something, right? See the full article here.

Candid Camera: Shopping While Black - Essence.com

Double High Five

2010-05-10T15:58:00.004-04:00

Sister, sister/How about that two way twister/Shakin' up our family tree/With sibling synchronicity/Sister, sister/Never knew how much I missed ya/Now that everybody knows/I ain't ever gonna let you go/Sister...oh/Sister, sister/

I luved that show as a kid. I luved it all the way to the end when they went to college at the University of Michigan. It’s hard to believe the setting for that show was Detroit, my city (i.e. one of the most crime ridden cities in the country). In my head they lived somewhere close, but not that close, suburban like Ann Arbor or Auburn Hills, but nonetheless I could still relate to them, maybe because in high school I was a dork to the ba-zillionth power too and I remember wearing those floppy hats and sweatshirts with turtlenecks. Remember the episode when they learned to ride the bus and they got lost? That totally happened to me, but getting lost in fictional Detroit and the real Detroit are two different animals.

I also liked the show because it showcased regular teenage life and was relatable to any teenager; the twist was the twins separated at birth thing which made it a little cheesy but still funny. It wasn’t about how hard it was to be black or how hard it was to be a teenager or how hard it was to be a black teenager. The show was just as goofy as the characters even though the characters reminded me of people I know. The relationship between Tia and Tamera reminds me of the relationship between my sister and I; we’re twins too and it’s funny to see that some twins share the same experience of being together 24/7, then wanting to distance yourself, to saying “I hate you” and ending up crying together on a couch. I guess that’s what all sisters do though. Sister, Sister was a great sitcom and leaves me nostalgic over the times where TV shows were good carefree light entertainment (i.e. Family Matters, Full House and the TGIF line-up). Now shows require too much energy to keep up with.

Anyhoo, where are the twins now? Laughin, lovin, livin life. They turned out to be great young role models and seem to be lovely young women. (Nowadays if you don’t have a sex tape or media whoring then you are considered a “nice girl.” But, the twins do seem to be genuinely “nice girls”.) Contrary to what some bloggers think, they are working and happen to be very successful college graduates. Both graduated from Pepperdine University with degrees in psychology and spent time studying in Italy. Besides starring in a long-running sitcom is an accomplishment, plus, they are probably still getting paid because the show is in syndication around the world. Everyday a new kid discovers the Mowry twins. (BTW, my mother once told me that they were our distant cousins on my maternal grandmother’s side, but this is the same woman who also said that Big Bird was also my cousin so I don’t know about that one.)

The girls are still acting and producing. Mrs. Tia Hardict is married to actor Cory Hardict. She starred in the sitcom The Game (I know BET is supposed to be bringing it back, but I’ll believe it when I see it) and Disney Channel movies with her sister, Twitches and Twitches Too. She has also done some voice over work in the Bratz series.

Ms. Tamera has starred in Strong Medicine and Roommates in addition to some voice over work on The Family Guy. She just finished a pilot for a TV called What We Do for Love with Alfonso Riberio and James Avery. She’ll play a half Latin and African American woman. Both sisters have made appearances on television and in movies AND they are both starring in and executive producing Double Wedding for Lifetime. Cha-Ching! The two have also won NAACP Image Awards and Kid’s Choice Awards.

So I’d say they are doing well. You can tell Tia is the most out-going and Tamera is laid back. Here’s what Tia had to say about her sister via IMBD.

"I think that you may find that Tamera's a little more vibrant and energetic, but I'm much more likely to go up to a person and say, "Hi, I'm Tia, nice to meet you". Whereas Tamera is like...well ...she's a little shy. She's down to earth. I'm more extroverted and she's more introverted when meeting people. Even with a fan I'll be like, "Hi! How are you! How are ya doing?" and Tamera's in the back thinking, "Let's see if this person's okay, then I'll come". That's how she is. I take the first step."

Tia may be more outgoing but in my opinion Tamera is the style star. Both girls always look put together, but Tamera’s stylish yet classic outfits are more my style.

Both girls are on twitter that’s where I get my info in addition to IMBD. The photo came from the ConcreteLoop.

http://twitter.com/TiaMowry

http://twitter.com/TameraMowryTwo

I Luv This Song

2010-05-05T16:21:00.003-04:00

This song makes me wanna dance and always puts me in a good mood. I'm not a fan of Janelle Monae, but I think this song has won me over. She and Erykah Badu are doing a concert together at DAR Constitution Hall this month (or next month, I can't remember) and guess who has tickets? Me! So I'll be brushing up on her so I can sing along and I mos def will be rocking black and white (her signature colors).

"I tip on alligators and little rattle snakers
But I'm another flavor
Something like a terminator
Ain't no equivocating
I fight for what I believe
Why you talkin' bout it
S-s-she's talkin' bout it
Some callin me a sinner
Some callin me a winner
I'm callin you to dinner
And you know exactly what I mean,"

"Yeah I'm talkin bout you
You can rock or you can leave
Watch me tip without you ."

- Janelle Monae Tightrope

Every Little Bit Helps

2010-04-21T12:56:00.000-04:00

Last year I read a book titled, “Nudge.” It basically talked about the power making small incremental changes has over a greater issue. For example taking the stairs up five flights twice daily could lead to stronger legs in as little as two weeks (my own example). So in an effort to actually accomplish a few of my news resolutions I’m going to make the following nudges in hopes of making a great impact of my savings account.

1. Join the club. For every store I patronize on the regular I’m signing up for the “bonus card” and/or email list. You get free coupons and hella savings. At the grocery store the often advertise the bonus card price as the sale price. FYI I haven’t had any issues with spam only coupons.

2. Complete the surveys. Sometimes at the bottom of the receipt there is a link or number to complete a survey. Often there is a dollar off or percentage off reward for you next purchase.

3. Cook at home and more often. Make a big pot of something and have it for lunch one day, dinner the next until it gone. Pasta is always cheap and keeps you full. This can save more money that being a ‘dollar menu - aire “a couple times a week. Plus, it’s better on your stomach.

4. When I make a one dish meal, say chili, I add an extra can of beans to stretch the dish for a couple more servings.

5. It also helps to plan your meals, and then make a grocery list that way you know what you need and can stick to it.

6. If you want to try a swank new restaurant, go for lunch on Tuesday instead of a Friday night dinner. The lunch menu is much cheaper.

7. I know I’m gonna get flack for this one, but if you wanna go out, but you’re a little low on funds, say yes to dude who’s been checking for you.

8. Carry cash in larger denominations like 50’s rather than 20’s and 10’s. The affect is two-fold. Actually seeing the cash rather than using plastic will make you more aware of how much you’re spending and breaking a 50 dollar bill to buy a $6 sandwich is mentally harder to do.

9. I recently I gave myself and allowance for ‘fun’ money in cash and when it was gone. I was back at the bookstore reading magazines cause I knew I didn’t have the funds to go out.

10. Leave your debit/credit card at home.

11. Comparison shop for everything. Try http://www.shopstyle.com/ for clothes and accessories.

12. Be mature enough to say “I ain’t got it.”

Is This Funny, I laughed a little in my head?

2010-04-14T17:11:00.003-04:00

Commentary: Jill Scott Talks Interracial Dating - Essence.com

2010-04-09T10:16:00.003-04:00

Over the past few weeks there has been hoopla on the Web about a piece in Essence magazine written by Jill Scott on interracial dating. I read the piece, at the bookstore (I forgot to renew my subscription) and I agreed with the overall message, but a few comments bothered me.

“My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. I didn't immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.”

“These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed.”

First let me make this very clear, I AM NOT AGAINST INTERACIAL DATING. I always say, “I ain’t gonna let NOBODY and NOTHING keep me away from my “good thing.” If the one God made for me happens to look like Channing Tatum and not Lamman Rucker, then so be it. However I am against self hatred and stereotyping. If you’re with someone because you feel, whether you admit it or not, that she is “better” because of her skin color or you think that an entire race of women all share the same character traits, then that is a problem.
It is hard to make a case for someone who used to be with the chocolatiest of chocolate sistas when he was “po, broke, and had no dough” then suddenly after “making it” he joins the No Black Girls Allowed Club. I’m just saying, something about it just doesn’t seem right and something ain’t right about saying all sistas are gold-digging, whores with not education or conversation. Who hurt you bruh?

But anyway back to Jill and her article cause I can go on and on about interracial dating. I admit I do feel something when I see a seemingly together brother with Annie Cream Cheese, but I wouldn’t say betrayed. It really depends on the couple. Sometimes if the couple just matches like they both share the same of love for Star Trek and their eyes just dance when they see each other; you can see real love and I just smile and think “There is someone for everyone.” There are times when I can just tell a brother will end up with a white girl and it’s usually when “He ain’t got no swag.” Yes I said it and I mean it. Some guys are nice guys, but just seem so bland. When lack of confidence or flavor is apparent I feel, eh. Mostly I feel, eh. There may have been a time I felt betrayed, but I now realize that usually I’m not attracted to guys who only date Becky’s or might-as-well-be-Beckys anyway. Real talk, but I understand where Jill is coming from.

My real problem with the article is “While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!”

I hate when a black woman has a good argument going then weakens it by airing dirty laundry and/or failing to take responsibility for her own actions. I hate, absolutely H-A-T-E the single black mother argument that may have worked in the 80’s but in 2010, no go sista. First of all I don’t believe that single mothers or the black community in general do enough to ensure that our children learn to value themselves, have respect for other people or know our history which is quite evident by looking at the numbers (i.e. HIV/AIDs, gang violence, unwed mothers, etc.) So the argument of trying to raise kids to appreciate themselves is moot especially if you are a single mother with multiple baby daddies, no real goal and no skill which brings me to my second point.

Too many women are looking for a “Sponsor.” How can you teach your child or children to value themselves and you don’t value yourself? (BTW I think that may be a contributing factor in interracial dating. I just don’t think that young black men respect their mothers, but more on that in another blog post) I believe that being a single mother is a choice and if you make the choice then it’s your sole responsibility to deal with it. You gotta birth the baby, care for the baby, it’s your baby, right? And according to the bible and the law if you are not married you are, SINGLE. You chose to go it alone.

The mention of limited financial support also cooks my grits. If you can’t afford the baby, then don’t have the baby and if you do have the baby then YOU have to make some financial sacrifices. Duh!

Besides all that what does single mother hood and limited funds have to do with interracial dating? I mean in the context of this article I think the point was about how she feels about interracial dating not discuss the consequences of having unprotected sex with someone who is not your husband. Being a struggling, lonely single mother is not an outcome of interracial dating.
What is relevant is the part about an empty bed which is what she should have discussed in more detail. Because she is not a struggling single mother, single mother yes, but struggling to make ends meet, no.

I would like to read more about why it feels frustrating and why it hurts to see a black man with a white woman and not that “because of slavery sentiment” (though it is very real). Real talk. I’d like to read more personal feeling and real life experiences, maybe I’ll blog about it.

Tyler Perry Doesn't Like Black Women

2010-04-06T15:31:00.006-04:00

After seeing Why Did I get Married Too, I’m beginning to believe that Tyler Perry doesn’t like black women, but I don’t think he knows it. Think about it every black woman in his movies has had major issues from allowing themselves to be physically and emotionally abused (i.e. low self-worth via Madea’s Family Reunion), to being a “strong black woman” (i.e. too tough to love Meet the Browns), gold digging opportunist and money hungry (The Family That Preys), off the wall crazy, insecure, loud, uncouth (Why Did I Get Married?).

The Why Did I Get Married duo takes the cake for Tyler’s “woman hate.” Throughout the entire movie strong, successful, black men hungered for the love and affection of docile (Shelia), hostile (Angela), unfeeling (Patricia), selfish (Diane) successful black women. Though each woman sans Diane had her redeeming qualities, the message was clear – black women are crazy. Let Tyler Perry tell it, sistas are in dire need of some mental help.

I second that emotion. I agree with Mr. Perry. Sistas need an intervention followed by a lot of love, affection, appreciation and admiration. Most of our abuse is no longer at the hands of a brutal slave master or bigoted lawmaker the whip is not our oppressor. Oppressors come in the form of music, television, advertisements, our omission from history, our absence in meaningful positions in the boardroom, our families and our men – everywhere. It says, “You don’t matter.”

I can empathize with a woman who is docile. I believe they call it, “ugly girl syndrome” (i.e. she’ll do anything to keep her man because she doesn’t believe she deserves better or that he can do better in terms of appearance). Society tells us that we are physically undesirable and that we should be happy with what we get. Let me make it clear, I don't have that syndrome, it's an example.

Ms. Hostile, I see you. Sometimes we have to man up when we don’t have a man or men to protect us so we really have to get ours on your own. You hear it all the time, “Nuggets ain’t shit” and many of them aren’t. In defense of the hostile woman sometimes she wants to be protected and let her guard down and even be taken care of, but there are very few men who make her feel “safe” enough to relax.

Unfeeling, sometimes in the hood, the battle ground, the office or the real world you can’t show any signs of weakness cause you’ll be eaten alive. For some women with no safe haven its a mean mug all day ever day. Though in Why Did I get Married Too, Patricia came off as unfeeling and selfish in a bad way.

Every trait I mentioned is not positive thing, but sometimes you have to take circumstances in the equation which is what I hope I’m getting at, but Pat was a little bitch period.

At first I didn’t have an excuse for being selfish, but then I thought, I have my selfish moments and it’s usually when I’m tired of doing shit for er’body with no appreciation. Sometimes you just gotta say, “No.”

Damn it, I forgot what I was talking about. (Tap, Tap, Tap).

Oh yeah, Tyler Perry doesn’t like black women. He seems to take the worst quality and over dramatize it. Maybe he just finds certain traits unattractive and decided to send subliminal messages. Or maybe he doesn’t dislike black women at all. Maybe he LOVES us so much that he wants to help us see the error of our ways via overly dramatic movie plots and that we can find true love from the black man.

Either way, I’m a fan of his movies. He employs black actors and they're not pimps and hoes. Plus, he always makes sure we have some premium eye candy. How fine is Lamman Rucker? In my DMV lingo, “Dat ninja, is fine as shit.”

Kevin Powell’s Open Letter to Black America | Clutch Magazine: The Digital Magazine for the Young, Contemporary Woman of Color

2010-04-02T13:04:00.003-04:00

Kevin Powell’s Open Letter to Black America
Friday Apr 2, 2010 – By Kevin Powell

DEAR BLACK AMERICA:

This 42nd anniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is an opportune moment to reflect on how far we’ve come, and how far we have to go. It calls us to reconsider the words Dr. King gave us at the end of his life, when he said that we need “a radical revolution of values.” Certainly, we have much to be proud of. There is the first Black president. There are more Black elected officials, more Blacks in corporate America, the media, and in very real power positions, like Oprah Winfrey, Richard Parsons, Donna Brazile, and Jay-Z.

But, if we are to be brutally honest with ourselves, we’ve also got to acknowledge that things have not been right for some time. The civil rights era concept that our leaders would deliver us into the promised land has devolved into the idea that all we need to do is show up and follow. We have lost the sense of individual responsibility toward collective change.

Think back to the days immediately after slavery, when it was clear that Blacks wanted two things: education and land. In spite of vicious White terrorism, we plodded forward. There was hope, and a vocabulary of purpose. These values emboldened us during the Civil Rights Movement. And they were re-born during the 2008 presidential campaign. Yet, unlike before, many of us have failed to embrace the miraculous kind of self and community transformation that led us to walk, literally, into the teeth of barking dogs, water hoses, and police brutality, mainly because we refused to let anyone turn us around.

Why, politically, did we come out in record numbers for Barack Obama, then instantly return to apathy? Why do we remain suspended in a state of arrested development, believing that a dynamic leader will be our salvation? A civil rights veteran said it best to me many years ago: “We were just happy to get in the door. We never really had a plan beyond that.” So we have to be honest and admit that Black leadership in America, except a few shining examples such as The Brotherhood/Sister Sol in New York City or John Hope Bryant’s Operation Hope, has been too often stuck in yesterday. It has been unable to produce an agenda for Black America that will transform our communities in a holistic way. So we’ve spent 40 years like the Israelites, wandering the wilderness, harboring the misguided expectations that people like Barack, or Oprah, or anyone Black and famous will free us. It simply isn’t going to happen.

And while we’ve been waiting, praying, and producing the same predictable conferences, summits, studies, and reports again and again, Black America is on the brink of catastrophe. We need to remind ourselves that Hurricane Katrina and Haiti’s earthquake only magnify the slow forms of devastation happening each day. They include HIV and AIDS, poverty, Black self-hatred and Black-on-Black violence, the huge class divide, mediocre school systems, and the steady march of our youth into jails and cemeteries. We should stop saying this is a post-racial America because of President Obama. It is not. Despite Barack and Michelle we continue to be bombarded with destructive images of Black people in the mass media. As I travel the country speaking at universities and working for social justice, I note that our prisons are packed with black and brown bodies, and every American ghetto looks exactly the same: a lack of resources, services, and jobs, failing public schools, and limited access to the American dream.

That said, let us no longer wait on a savior to come. Do we want to continue wandering or do we want to create our future here and now? We have the power to transform our communities by enacting those “radical revolution of values.” So I propose six things we must do immediately: Create a Spiritual Foundation; Move Toward Mental Wellness; Take Care of Our Physical Health; Become Politically Active; Understand the Power of Our Culture; and Start a Plan for Economic Empowerment.

Our spiritual foundation must be rooted in God or something greater than us, and a love for self and for all Black folks, unconditionally. It must grow out of our beliefs and our willingness to act selflessly. And it must begin with mental wellness because we cannot stand up for our convictions, our faith, or ourselves if our self-esteem is not in tact. Susan L. Taylor put it best when it comes to our mental health, Black America: healing is the new activism. Be it the increase in domestic violence, homicides and suicides, or the way so many of us say “I can’t” it is clear to me that since the civil rights period our individual and collective psyches have been damaged. But we can heal by seeking counseling and therapy, forming or joining positive support groups, and courageously ridding ourselves of toxic people, even if they are longtime friends, lovers, or kinfolk.

Physically, we can no longer accept that we are pre-destined for diabetes, high-blood pressure, and other ailments. Yes, like all Americans, we should have access to health care. But we should also change our diets and exercise regularly. Recently, my mother was hospitalized. After years of sitting on the sofa watching TV and indulging in terrible eating habits, that was her wake-up call. Change your diet and live. Don’t change and die a painful and preventable death, as many of our relatives have.

Taking charge of our health and wellness also means changing the way we discuss our realities in America. Let us stop bemoaning our “crises” and start strategizing to meet our “challenges.” Let us cease spreading reports that compare us unfavorably to our White sisters and brothers. Likewise, our culture, the way we talk, eat, sing, pray, dance, laugh, and cry must become more balanced so that it no longer reflects solely what is wrong with us, but also projects a vision of how great we can become, or are.

Financially, we’ve got to disconnect our self-esteem from our clothes and cars and instead focus on building true wealth. If my illiterate late grandparents could own land in South Carolina, by saving coins in their day, then we can, too. We can use our resources to empower ourselves, to help our ’hoods, and to support our people. This means doing more than donating to charity. It means a sincere and consistent giving back in terms of time, energy, and presence.

Black America, we’ve been surviving for 400 years in this nation. The question for the twenty-first century is this: Do we want to just survive, or do we want to win? The “radical” answers, if we search hard enough, are right there in our own hands.

Kevin Powell is a writer, activist and author of 10 books, including Open Letters to America. He can be reached at kevin@kevinpowell.net.

A Country Dream, Poak Chops!

2010-03-28T00:20:00.000-04:00

Yeah, India, tell 'em the TRUTH!

2010-03-25T12:38:00.005-04:00

Recently India Arie popped off on her Twitter, she mentioned that the video “Telephone” by Lady Ga Ga and Beyonce was socially irresponsible and the bloggers went off. “Who is she?” “Her and her divattitude.” “It’s JUST a video.” Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. FYI It’s NOT JUST A VIDEO at least not for the black community.

I must admit I haven’t seen the video in its entirety (it’s one long ass video), but what I did see didn’t impress me. Sure the fashion was hot or should I say haute, but the lyrics were blah, beat eh, performance raunchy, presentation glitzy and that’s it; for me at least. I’m a grown woman who KNOWS that it is JUST entertainment. Here is the issue, some people take TV, music, movies, and videos as entertainment because we know that other images exist, we have opportunities, and someone loved us enough to teach us our history or to value ourselves. Some people, mainly young people with no direction, no structure and no real role models take this “art” as life and how it’s supposed to be. Too many young people see these media images as role models and watching TV is a way for these disenfranchised youth to participate in a society that tells them who they are.

We KNOW what the media thinks of black women; vindictive baby mommas, hyper sexualized, herpes ridden, uneducated, fat, gold-diggers, never gonna get married, attitudinal, mean spirited, undesirable, big assed (cause you gotta have a BIG ass), psychological nut cases (thank you Precious). So if the only people I resemble even remotely in the media are for example, Nicki Minaj or Amber Rose who present themselves as gold-diggers, hyper sexual, uneducated women, then what does that mean? I think It’s especially hard for the rarely seen dark skinned girl who, if she is seen it’s for fleeting moment and it’s more than likely an ass shot.

We rarely see ourselves portrayed as something to be valued like a wife or the girlfriend he walks the red carpet with, and that goes for black women light and dark. When some celebs get that mainstream money they join the “No Black Girls Allowed Club.” Yes, John Legend, Michael Jordan, sadly Mario, Reggie Bush, the list goes on I talking about you, but back to my point (I do have one).

As a celebrity you KNOW the weight and responsibilities as a celebrity. Excuse me you know the POWER of celebrity and it is your decision to use that power for good or evil and the public has a right to criticize you. BEYONCE, if you take your power and gladly take on the role of ‘role model’ (especially to the first lady’s babies) then you DO have the responsibility of being socially responsible.

To another point celebs of color or other underrepresented groups (i.e. gay, lesbian, disabled) have a greater burden to be socially responsible and that’s just the way it is. It’s that way for one reason mainly, because that person/representative is one of very few of that kind seen by the masses. That person essentially, well superficially represents the entire group. Am I making this up? It’s not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s just the way it is.

Beyonce little girls, black girls included, look up to you. It would be great if you gave them something good to admire we already have too much of the bad.

In closing, I’ll take the words from India Arie:

“Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself”

I Found It!

2010-03-24T11:03:00.003-04:00

Now this is H-O-T, hot. I wanna do this for the summer. The baby taco meat fro I'm rocking now needs a little work, BUT in my defense, this is my very first time wearing fro.

Help Us Spread the Word!: Clutch “Tell-a-Friend” Campaign | Clutch Magazine: The Digital Magazine for the Young, Contemporary Woman of Color

2010-03-24T10:57:00.003-04:00

I came across this online magazine before and I thought it was great. The writers proof their pieces and the viewpoints are diverse. You should mos def check it out. Plus the bloggers who comment don't seem to be complete idiots. Click the title to visit the site.

Obama, Obama, Obama, He did that!

2010-03-23T16:49:00.004-04:00

So if you don't know by now, our President, Barack Obama has passed the Health Care Reform Bill. The biggest deal in the healthcare world in 100 years! And I have to be honest I really didn't know that much about it. I'd heard the rheoric and I did a 'little' research, but as far as having a decent debate/conversation based on facts, um I'd have to sit that one out.

I just wanted him to pass something for the sake of passing something, well not anything determental to society, but I really wanted a big "win" for Barack. I know, I know, but it seemed like er'body was against him, republicans, militant black folk, bloggers, babies, Buddha, every-one! Faux News spewed all kinds of hatred, the Congressional Black Caucus had a serious case of crabs, and Concrete Loop and MediaTakeOut were full of hatemongers.

Everyone has a right to an opinion, but I am a strong believer that opinions should be rooted in fact or personal experience in some cases. The haters didn't make ANY sense AT ALL, but the Pres could whoop some ass with facts and number. My goodness. The Dems could really put a verbal factual 'smack down' on the repubs. So I sided with them. But I'm not a total sheep, I did little more digging. You should mosey over to http://www.whitehose.gov/ and http://www.healthreform.gov/.

A Facebook friend posted a link that I think is benefical. It lists the top 10 facts to know about healthcare reform. I listed the fact below, but if you click the title you can read the entire article it also includes links for more research.

1. The plan is not a government takeover of health care like in Canada or Britain.

2. Insurance companies will be regulated more heavily.

3. Everyone will have to have health insurance or pay a fine, a requirement known as the individual mandate.

4. Employers will not be required to buy insurance for their employees, but large employers may be subject to fines if they don't provide insurance.

5. The vast majority of people will not see significant declines in premiums.

6. The plan might or might not bend the curve on health spending.

7. The government-run Medicare program will keep paying medical bills for seniors, but it will begin implementing cost controls on health care providers, mostly through penalties and incentives.

8. Medicaid, a joint federal-state program for the poor, will cover all of the poor, instead of just a few groups the way it currently does.

9. The government won't pay for elective abortions.

10. No one is proposing new benefits for illegal immigrants.

BTW, did hear Joe Biden drop the F-bomb? This guy reminds me of an old Hollywood actor or one of those big ass heads in parades. I call him Hollywood Joe.

Lance Gross, Midnight? I can see that.

2010-03-12T14:18:00.007-05:00

Super Cutie Lance Gross made his way over to Honeymag.com and discussed his new movie Our Family Wedding, Eva, and his ideal role. Click the title for the interview. See photos from his My Life photos below. Good stuff, right?

What Men Think Of Our Beauty Rituals

2010-03-12T09:38:00.004-05:00

So Essence.com decided to do an informal survey of what men thought of our beauty rituals and it is mos def good for a laugh; and it just goes along with what I've always known; Men are stupid. They rarely know what they're talking about when it comes to women's beauty regimens.

I posted the article below.

Since the very first cavewoman caught her reflection in a puddle and was like, "I really need to do something about my brows," women have expended great amounts of energy on the pursuit of beauty. And if we're talking about heterosexual women, one would assume that they're primping to attract the opposite sex, right? So, we decided to conduct our own informal survey of 20 and 30-something men to find out, once and for all, what they really think of our beauty rituals. You'll wonder why you make an effort at all!

THE WEAVE SITUATION
In this progressive day and age, when weaves are ubiquitous, we were surprised to learn that many men are still not down for fake hair. "I had an incident with a fake ponytail in the late '90s, and I haven't even approached a non-real-hair woman since," says William, a consultant in Richmond. "Weaves make me feel like, if she's faking on her hair, what else is she faking on?" Duane, a Washington DC attorney cosigns, saying, "A weave is a major turnoff for me. I'm big on how a woman's hair smells and I've never met a weave that smelled good."

They really mean they hate obvious, natty weaves and wigs, and so do I. But, I have to admit weave it is not the business when it smells like an open sore, it happens though. And that business about being fake is a cop-out. I just don't get that one.

BRAZILIAN WAX
The Brazilian bikini wax (ie, the one where almost everything goes) drew mixed reactions among our focus group. Trinidad-based photographer Wyatt said they were a must, while Kyle, a Brooklyn writer, said the bald-and-beautiful look was nice, but not necessary. Duane agreed, saying, "Brazilians are sexy on porn stars, but to be honest, I don't want my woman to look like a porn star. " Little do the men know that, aesthetically it may be pleasing for them, but many women go bare because A.) it makes them feel thinner, and B) friction-less sex is everything

Excuse me, but that ish looks like it hurts. It's not all peachy when I get an eyebrow wax so I KNOW waxing er'thing down there is going to be a B*TCH. Plus, I don't think I would feel sexy and womanly if I had no hair; it's too pre-pubescent in my book.

FOUNDATION
Foundation seems to be a no-no, as well. "It's the biggest turn-off possible," says Wyatt. "Invest in good skin care instead of caking this on! I don't like my models to wear it in shoots, either." Jim, a Miami area surgeon, finds it to be a distraction. "It's scary when a woman's face is one color and her neck is another. What's that all about?" Meanwhile, William isn't mad at the actual foundation, he just hates it when it gets all over his sink. "I'm a little OCD," he admits. Detroit-based musician Tyrone told us, "Drake said it best: 'Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on...that's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong.

Wrong again! If applied correctly they don't know when you're wearing foundation or getting a little help from somewhere. I know this for the truth once I was out and the guy was gushing over my "glamorous" skin; well little did he know, I mixed a dab of liquid foundation in my moisturizer (great tip BTW, if you are not a big make-up girl).

LIP GLOSS
Whether it's shimmery or sheer, or bold vs. pale, we are definitely addicted to applying lip gloss (in fact, in a recent ESSENCE poll, gloss was named the one makeup item that women can't live without). Sadly, the men we polled didn't share the same enthusiasm. "It makes me feel like a weird old lady at church just kissed me," says William. "It needs to wear off before I get a kiss." And when it comes to the trendy new lip-plumping glosses infused with circulation-jolting cinnamon and pepper, men are truly baffled. "I mean, a little tingle is cool, but I don't wanna feel like I just kissed a plate of hot sauce," said Duane. Texas-based businessman Laurence says, "There's tingly lip gloss? I think a woman should have fun with that. Like, tell some guy that her lips are literally electric, and then kiss him and be like, 'Check mate!'"

First of all, I don't need a lip plumper; I already have a set of premium sized soup coolers, but I can understand wanting a pouty mouth. That's hot, but I can't stand the stickiness of some glosses. Here is an area where the quality and the quantity of gloss is important. I hate to get make-up on my sleeve or on my clothes. So, I have agree with the guys, eh, but what can we do about it?

SUMMARY
So generally, it looks like even though men want us to look nice, noticeable makeup and fake hair can be a turn-off. Now, here's the thing: Most of the women we know wear makeup, and a good amount have rocked weaves--and, as of yet, they've never had a problem attracting or keeping men. "We can say we want our women to be au naturale," says Al, a California dentist, "but the truth is, we really have no idea what secret tricks you guys pull. If you're fly, men don't care about all this stuff." To test the theory, we showed three men a red carpet shot of Meagan Good rocking neutral makeup. Every single one of the men oohed and ahhed over her "natural" beauty "See? She's not wearing a stitch of makeup, and she's gorgeous," says Kevin, a New York investment banker. The truth is, Good was wearing a face full of makeup...and a weave. What they don't know won't hurt them.

Amen!

Read more: http://www.essence.com/fashion_beauty/beauty/men_opinion_womens_beauty_rituals.php#comments#ixzz0hyV5DxpT

My Smile Moment for the Day

2010-03-11T10:59:00.004-05:00

Photos from the latest Governer's Ball at the White House. Photos were taken from http://mrs-o.org/.

Columbus, falls Short LOL ;)

2010-03-09T15:22:00.003-05:00

I heart Columbus, and this vid just gave me a good laugh. Thanks Boo!

LC's New Collection @ Kohls

2010-03-05T17:39:00.004-05:00

The Budget Babe posted photos from the LC Lauren Conrad Collection 2010 Look book on her blog and I luv it. I admitted this a while ago, I was a Hills Fan and LC can dress her butt off. So, I went straight to the Kohl's Web site and to my surprise/ luck there was a sale! I had two dresses in my cart, entered all my shipping and billing information, got to the part where you enter your credit card's security code AND sigh, I exited the site. Yes, I'm a big girl now. I am determined to have a great Summer vay-kay and to save some dough. Below are the items I would buy if I had the money. Who knows they may end up in my closet anyway. Click the title to see the original BB post.

My Girl Gotta New Do

2010-02-26T10:32:00.003-05:00

So I really like Dawn Richard's new cut and I think I wanna try it myself. Thing is it's hard to find someone who can do a good weave AND a great cut. I don't wanna look like I'm wearing a wig and I don't want a relaxer, but good look, Dawn.

Maybe it's Cabin Fever?

2010-02-25T16:52:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling a little down lately. The month of February always makes me moody, restless, and a little sad. Yep, just like November. Anywho, I've been working a lot and dealing with the new 'energy' in the office. Plus I'm sick of being couped up in the house, I wanna buy some new clothes, I wanna plan a dope ass summer vacation, I wanna be able to pay for it and falling in love won't hurt. Take it away, Gorillaz!