Thursday, July 15, 2010

Note to Nice Guys

It’s hard being a “nice” person period. People will try you every day. But being “nice” isn’t your problem in regard to women. You need to be more assertive. Point. Blank. Period. Assertive in a way that is straightforward and masculine (i.e. confident), you can’t be afraid of rejection.

I know guys who are loud and obnoxious, but who are afraid of rejection and come off as insecure and weak almost. This guy is often a he-man woman hater; he really wants somebody, but he is afraid of getting his heart broken so he uses personality as a repellent. This dude is really a nice guy at heart and usually the most romantic. His opposite in personality is the nice, nice guy; the shy one, who often gets walked all over (not on purpose always). Women like a guy who is handy around the house and in the yard and this guy is good company, but we’re unsure of his intentions. He’d make a great boyfriend, but does he like ME or is he just being nice? Ladies like to feel safe and the relationship with this guy is ambiguous and no one feels safe in ambiguity. So you’ll be the back-up.

Where am I going with this? Tell me what you want from me! Tell me literally or with your actions sometimes both are necessary. Chase me. Be a man about it. Don’t ask for my number and wait for me to call you. Don’t ask me for my number and start meaningless text conversation (i.e. Hey, What a r doing?) Pick up the phone and make it plain. Don’t ask me out and wait for me to make the plans and please don’t keep score. I called you, now call me, I asked, you plan, I, you, I, you. This ain’t a game.

When I meet a guy like this I think, “This nuggets ain’t serious, games all games” so my guard is up and my effort is minimal (If you just chillin, cool). In essence I’m taking your lead. It’s your move. Be aggressive. You may get rejected, but you have to first take the chance. We’re all “nice” girls looking for a “nice” guy.