Monday, February 22, 2010

13 Things I Wish I Knew Before 30

So I came across a piece on online magazine Clutch and decided to comment on the statements I could relate to the most.

1. If a man wants you, really wants you, there is nothing you can do to keep him away. Contrarily, if a man is not that interested in you, there is nothing you can do to make him stay.

Yes Lawd! Say it sista. There is a certain point when Jay Z’s “On to the Next One” starts playing in my head in regard to a prospective relationship with a man and the author said it best. It’s true I think as women we have to understand that having a working, loving mutually beneficial relationship is not entirely up to us. He has to be ready too, and sometimes he’s just not ready and it has NOTHING to do with YOU. That’s why people can be together for years and not get married until HE is ready.

Also it is important to note that the difference between a “shy-guy” and a guy who just doesn’t want you. A shy guy will make plans and hesitate in regard to intimacy, but he will respect you and your time and make sure that he is included on your schedule. A guy who doesn’t really want you will make plans on his time, call you when he wants to and basically not make you a priority. A man, any man will go after you IF he wants you.

2. Credit Is A Pathway To Financial Security

Good credit also means freedom. Freedom from staying up worried at night, freedom from high interest rates, freedom from being limited to the sales racks and stay-cations. It may not show up when we’re young, but when the responsibilities and reality shows up (i.e. bills, taxes, mounting debt, travel, mortgages) it won’t be pretty.

12. Decide How you Want To Be Treated And Never Alter From That

Do you hear it again, “On to the next one, on to the next one…”? I learned about “ugly girl syndrome” from the TV show The Game. Basically, it describes a woman who will do anything to keep her man, even take his B.S. with no resistance and I don't want to be "that girl." I say if you feel a man is “too good for you” or “too handsome for you” or whatever then go find someone who isn’t and be happy. However it is more important to know that nothing or no one is “too good for you.”

13. Take The Time To Better Yourself

My parents always taught me in simple terms “to worry about my damn self.” I didn’t understand this fully until high school and continue to see the importance as I get older. It’s not about being selfish it’s about doing what is best for you and not worrying about being the person someone else wants you to be or punishing and judging someone else. Cause at the end of the day after people talk about you, try to control you, or whatever they are only worried about what’s best for themselves. Think about it, he might not want you to get an advanced degree because he may feel pressure to do better or your mom doesn’t want you to pursue a career in ballet cause she doesn’t want to deal with disappointment if you don’t make it. This is not saying that it comes from a bad place; the people around you may not even be aware of their selfishness, but Beyonce said it best, “ I got me, myself, and I. That’s all I got in the end.”

I would like to add as number 14 that to take on a "Just Do it" attitude and not let fear prevent you from living your dreams. It may be fear of failure, fear of rejections, fear of losing someone or something, but I have never heard anyone regret TRYING, but I have heard and experienced regret of NOT TRYING. It's better to live life with very few "what ifs" than living live with a ton of "woulda, shoulda, couldas"

Click the title for the article and be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to see the other reader comments.

BTW, I'm not 30 yet! There's not a thing wrong with 30, I'm just not there yet. ;)