Saturday, February 6, 2010

Wife vs. Wifey

So a Facebook friend posted an Essence link listing 9 reasons why being the 'wife' Is better than being the 'wifey." I am in total agreement. I've never understood the pride in wearing the "wifey" title. It always seemed just as stupid as being the "main squeeze." Both terms mean second best, not good enough, unofficial, you get the point.

The term only magnifies the lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage and unrest in finding true love and/or the unwillingness to actually put work and/or effort into a lasting relationship. People try to cover it up by saying marriage is just a piece of paper but so is a college degree, a paycheck or a deed to a house, right? Wrong! If a marriage license is "just" a piece of paper, then why don't you "just" get one? Cause it takes WORK and RESOURCES (i.e. finances you know that thing that is so near a dear to your heart). Maybe not necessarily money as in paper stacks, but possessions, space, independence. We all work to obtain a certain level of comfort and independence and in marriage you have to share that with someone else. With the wifey she only gets what the dude is willing to give. This also applies to time, affection and understanding.

And I've always been an all or nothing type of girl. I, sir am, eh will be a "Mrs." I ain't playing house and that's what a wifey does essentially, play house. I'm not saying that I don't work at relationships or do anything that in any way relates to being a good wife for a guy I'm serious about. I cook and I'll pick up the dry cleaning if I'll walking by the cleaners, but I don't feel obligated like I would if I were his wife. I'd do those things cause I want to. I ain't going to be doin all that for "free" for lack of better word.

My grandma was just talking about how once you get married a man will want you to do things on his time like cleaning. I clean when I feel like it now and if I don't feel like cooking I eat ice cream or go for pizza. If I had a husband and especially a family it would no longer be about me and only me.

I'm not a wife yet for a reason. I believe that God is preparing me for someone great and in the process I am becoming a true Proverbs 31 woman. Whatever I am becoming is too good to be some man's option, second best, backup plan, "wifey."

Number 7 on the list is the truth and sums it up best.

“I would want to constantly be a better man for my wife. Wifey just needs to accept who I am.” —Reese Jackson, 28

Preach! Click the title for the complete list.